funny weight loss tips

50 Funny Weight Loss Tips And Quotes

Laughter is the best medicine and in recent years several teams of researchers showed that laughter is a medicine for weight loss as well. Slimming down is a difficult process and at times we need to infuse the process with a few laughs. The following funny weight loss tips and funny weight loss quotes will do just that.

But before we get to the funny tips and quotes, let’s do a bit of serious talking first.

The results of the initial research of the effects of laughter on slimming down showed that 15 – 20 minutes of good laugh will help burn 10 – 40 calories per day which translates to up to 4.4 pounds per year. Not much, but every little bit helps.

A more recent study by Dr. Helen Pilcher, a neuroscientist, determined that a strong, hearty laugh for an hour can burn 100 cals. We encounter many funny things during the day. If we could succeed at laughing for just one hour daily, our laughter would help us burn 36,500 calories per year. This would amount to about 10.5 pounds shed in a year (1lb of extra blubber is equivalent to about 3,500 calories).


This is an important information and suggests we should actively seek funny situations. Here are just a few tips for finding funny situations:

  • watching some funny shows on TV
  • read books that make us chuckle
  • share funny jokes on Facebook or in an email
  • watch a funny movie with your family
  • and so on

Laughter is not an appetite suppressant, but it influences various hormones and feel good chemicals in our body. This relieves stress, boosts your overall mood and it even relieves pain. In addition when we laugh different muscles have to work and that helps to get rid of the unwanted fat and inches.

Now let’s get laughing. All of the funny weight loss tips and funny weight loss quotes below I have collected over time either from online sources or found in some books I read offline.

For both, funny tips and funny quotes I will include the author when the author is known. When the author is not known I will leave the author space blank


25 Funny Weight Loss Tips

  1. If you work at home…. walking to work should not be considered as daily exercise – Larry Wentz
  2. When eating donuts – only eat the center part
  3. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand
  4. If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise
  5. Tobacco is a green, leafy plant…but a cigarette does not count as a salad – Randy Glasbergen
  6. Forget Liposuction – Try Lip Obstruction! – Larry Wentz
  7. Eat as much as you want – just don’t swallow it – Steve Burns
  8. Practice safe eating — always use condiments
  9. You know it’s time to cut down on calories when you step on the scale and the readout says, “One at a time, please!”  Anonymous
  10. Once you lick the frosting of a cupcake it becomes a muffin and muffins are healthy
  11. A chocolate brownie looks like a giant crouton, so it’s almost a salad – Randy Glasbergen
  12. Make all your friends cupcakes; the fatter they get, the thinner you’ll look
  13. You will lose weight on this strict diet, but it is mostly water…from crying – Randy Glasbergen
  14. When you eat standing, it does not count – Beth Barnes
  15. Pharmacist: Take a few capsules each morning before you weigh yourself. They are filled with helium – Randy Glassbergen
  16. Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside – Mark Twain
  17. Never eat more than you can lift – Miss Piggy
  18. My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four…Unless there are three other people – Orson Welles
  19. Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline. If you’d like to lose half a pound right now, press 1…18,000 times – Randy Glasbergen
  20. I really think that tossing and turning at night should be considered as exercise
  21. You can’t lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut –
  22. One meal a day is enough for a lion and would be for all of us if all we did all day was swat flies – Erma Bombeck
  23. A golfer’s diet: live on greens as much as possible – Unknown
  24. When I buy cookies I eat just four and throw the rest away. But first I spray them with Raid so I won’t dig them out of the garbage later. Be careful, though, because that Raid really does not taste that bad – Janette Barber
  25. The only way to lose weight is to check it as airline baggage – Peggy Ryan


25 Funny Weight Loss Quotes

  1. Rich, fatty foods are like destiny: they too, shape our ends
  2. I keep trying to lose weight – but it keeps finding me!
  3. I am on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it
  4. Chocolate is an antidepressant, which is especially useful as you start to gain weight – Jason Love
  5. I’ve decided I’ll never get down to my original weight. I am OK with that. After all, 6lbs, 3 oz, is just not realistic
  6. I am on a 90-day wonder diet. Thus far, I’ve lost 45 days
  7. I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth’s gravitational pull has become since 1990 – Dave Barry
  8. I am in shape. Round is a shape – Garfield
  9. Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever
  10. The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you are off it – Jackie Gleason
  11. I am not overweight. I am just nine inches too short – Shelley Winters
  12. If you really want to be depressed, weigh yourself in grams – Jason Love
  13. I had a plain Greek yogurt this morning, then a salad for lunch. Then I came home and ate the entire kitchen
  14. Dieting is a wishful shrinking
  15. Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I say it I wash my mouth with chocolate
  16. Aerobics is a series of strenuous exercises which help convert fats, sugars and starches into aches, pains and cramps – Unknown
  17. If nature had intended for our skeletons to be visible it would have put them on the outside of our bodies – Elmer Rice
  18. I am a light eater. When it gets light, I start eating – Tommy John
  19. I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets – Dolly Parton
  20. I never step on the scale… Because the scale does not measure SEXY
  21. I told my doctor that I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster! – Joe Lewis
  22. Pinterest: the only place where you can save weight loss tips & how to make chocolate covered French bread pizza without shame
  23. Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree. That makes it a plant. Chocolate is salad.
  24. I exercised once but found that I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous.
  25. Inside me is a thin person trying to get out, but I can usually sedate her with 4 or 5 cupcakes

Did you enjoy these funny weight loss tips and quotes? I hope you did as much as I had fun writing them. Perhaps you have heard of other funny lines or tips. Please share them in the comment section.


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